Friday Focus: Believing in Myself

Maybe one day I'll have a fancy graphic for this day, but once again it's the last Friday of the month!

Where in the world did August go?? I at least got to a beach this summer, but I still want to go to my own. Still have a couple of weeks, if it doesn't snow to rain the rest of Summer.

But anyway, I'm almost finished Children of Blood and Bone, and dear God, is it good. I think it's okay to say without spoiling at this point that if Zélie and Inan don't get together by the end (not sure if there's a sequel coming), I'll be hurt, but I know not all romances have happy endings.

This book is one of the many that have given me hope as a black female author that someone will want to read my stories. That's why I push Fractured Princess so hard: even though many would say to start writing something else, and I have fortunately, I know deep down someone needs to read a character like Jonnie or Brodie; both are teenaged black girls going against the grain. Jonnie is tired of letting others fight and die for her. Brodie doesn't want to follow in her family's footsteps. Someone needs to see a fantasy setting that hasn't already been done a million times (I know I did). Someone needs to see vulnerable young men like Cyan.

For a while, every rejection I received chipped away at my self-confidence. Many times it was just because FP wasn't quite there yet, which I get. But after a certain amount of rejections and years, I really started feeling like I've been wasting my time. And I know a lot of published authors say that have those moments where they feel like a fraud, but at the same time, they're published, so...It's like skinny people who say they need to lose weight.

I submitted FP to Pitch Wars earlier this week, and I'm excited that, first of all, they've created a more diverse panel of mentors. No offense to other contests,  but when you scroll the list of agents, judges, etc., and what you see is 1 person of color to 12 white people, as a black woman writer, it's easy to feel like your chances are just as small, if not smaller. People want to believe it isn't a factor , but when you're actually wearing the shoes, you learn that it is. They won't say it and probably don't see it, but it happens.

I'm also excited because I feel like the first time in years, whether through Pitch Wars or not, I'm confident that this one is ready. Or at the least, I'm ready. I wrote "the end" about 8 or 9 years ago now. After so many revisions and at least three overhauls, if I don't believe in this story, no one else will, so no matter what, I'm going to put it out there and see where it goes.

Thursday Thoughts - Midnight Thoughts

I don't have a clever image for this yet, but as I'm currently out of Tuesday Tales ideas, I might as well ramble to keep my schedule up to date.

I drank a Dr. Pepper late, so I'm still awake and watching The 100. I'm only in Season 1, but seeing commercials for the current season, I need to know how they get there. It's like Teen Angst Mad Max right now.

I have a kinesthetic (sp?) tape on my right wrist. I think I pulled a tendon lifting my bed frame up to my room. Luckily I'm left handed, but wrist pain is some of the most agonizing pain I've experienced. I guess because my wrists don't usually hurt. I'm going to Occupational Therapy twice a week for a few weeks. Hopefully that works on calming it down. I think I threw out my old wrist braces. =\

I'm also on 5 new medications for my allergies & asthma. It's annoying, but one is for acid reflux, and I'm glad I haven't had any for a few weeks now. I had a stick test and learned I'm allergic to dust mites, mold, dogs, seasonal stuff, and eggs. I love dogs and cooking eggs, so my feelings were hurt.

I have off Friday, so I want to take some time to catch up on reading. I have some writing I also need to do. I've been writing more scenes for later in my story than scenes in the beginning, and I'm trying to be okay with that.

Now that I've climbed in bed, I'm getting sleepy, so sleep well everyone!

Wednesday Words: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Happy Wednesday! It's the 2nd Wednesday of the month, which is the day I share with you all what I am reading. This week (and, with the way my days are going, the next couple weeks) I'm reading Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi.

This cover is amazing!

I've been waiting to read this for a while now, and now that I've started it, I'm so excited. Tomi used Yoruba mythology to create this story. My godparents are from Nigeria, so that's a plus on my interest meter. Add to that the setting of a world where there was basically a war on magic, and I'm getting Final Fantasy VI vibes, and I'm here for them.

There are 525 pages in this book! I can't wait to see how the story plays out. has given me page 158 to share with you all, so let me turn there and find a line.

All at once the flames lining the walls go out, just like Tzain's makeshift torch. But in an instant, they reignite with new life, blanketing every inch of stone with light.

I know the main characters Zélie and Amari are looking at a mural of the gods, who Zélie believes to be dead and the reason that the magic in the world is gone. I can't wait to see how they got to wherever they are. They have just met where I am.

What are you reading this week?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Happy First Wednesday! It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post! As always, thank you, Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts, for keeping this going. Visit the official website to join us.

Where am I this month? Well, I decided to pen my resignation letter and have it waiting in the wings. Most of me wants to just turn it in, but the sensible side of me says to wait until I have a new job in the bag. I've applied to a dozen jobs in the last few weeks, so hopefully I hear from one soon.

This may also be the year I go ahead and self-publish. I don't think I have it in me to keep querying. I'll just be happy knowing my book is out there. Then, I'll just have to up my self-marketing, and it no longer sounds like a super scary thing to do.

So wish me luck!